A typical writer would have probably written this blog on valentines day, but Mbaaa (no in igbo) Adaeze is not your typical writer.

Love is alot of things. Love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy, love thinks no evil, love suffers long, love is sacrifice, love never fails. Nna ehn, the list is long. But the one we don't emphasize on enough is “Love is Vulnerability”.

I realized this and it changed my life. It has also helped me handle my emotions better.

In the meantime, vulnerability is something I detest so much, I detest it like a plague. Sometimes it doesn't really matter if you're my family member or closest friend or anything. I'd rather not let you see me in my worst, imperfect state. And I was taking this same attitude to Abba.

shakes head in “what was i thinking?”

I mean I loved Abba, I still love Abba. But before I realized this, I'd always want to give Abba only the best parts of me. Just the good emotions, only the good days and moments. I was busy singing “I surrender, I surrender all” but was i really surrendering all?

I was doing this to the one who knew me even before I was formed in my mother’s womb meaning He knew and understood me even before I was old enough to comprehend and understand my emotions, He already knew my flaws and imperfections before I noticed them.

It all changed when I watched one of Ezinne Zara's videos on youtube, I can't really remember which of them. She talked about how she would tell everything to God, whether she was happy, bitter, hurt, she would just take it to the Father, either by speaking with him or journaling about it. I knew it was Abba speaking to me, stretching his fatherly arms towards me.

I thought about it for days and tried to inculcate the habit. I started taking it all to Abba, my moments of happiness, hurt, confusion, heartbreaks, weakness, bitterness, insecurities, flaws, my good and bad days and it strengthened our relationship even more.

Alot of us are in these shoes, giving Abba the perfect parts of us, the parts and emotions we think are best for God. Like we're trying to impress Him or something. But He wants all of you. He itches to hear you speak about those things you don't share with people, even when He already knows. He doesn't just want to be God on the good days but also God on the bad days.

We also forget John 1:14

Jesus, the word became Human. He walked the same earth we're on. He had siblings that would take His things without permission, He was laughed out at one point in His life, He knows what it's like to be hungry, thirsty or even stressed, tired. So He understands every single emotion, flaw and problem we might bring to Him. It's okay to be vulnerable with Him. Just by sharing these things with Him it is as though a heavy burden as been taken off our shoulders.

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Again, Abba was vulnerable to us too, giving His only begotten Son to die for our sins and save us; giving us the privilege of coming to Him just the way we are, good or bad, perfect or imperfect. If you ask me that's vulnerability and sacrifice which when put together equals Love.

I’m coming to a close and I want you to know “our vulnerability with Abba deepens our intimacy with Him”, in those moments of vulnerability He finds strength. A real relationship exists when both parties are able to share in each other's pain or gain.

Extras: check out Adaeze’s Notes 002 on instagram and also my blog on love last year here

Toodles!💕

Till my Hand itches to write again,

Adaeze.